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DEAR DIARY X NEW YEAR

2 Jan

I woke up today in the happiest mood ever.

Driven more than before. With my dog right next to me, he kisses me good morning. Honest to truth, no one, I mean NO ONE loves me more than my Nabi.

He kinda stinks…it costs $100 for him to get groomed..he needs it so bad…lol.

I decided I will go back to modeling, and relaunch my online store.

I’ve just been distracted for too long.

As far as dating goes, I haven’t found anyone actually worthy.

They like me for being independent, driven, ambitions, determined, fun, and happy.

Yet those are the things that intimidate them.

I used to work two jobs, as a nail tech (which I truly love), from 10am ’til 7pm. And I also worked at Target stocking overnight from 2am ’til 7:30-8am. I only sleep for 3-4 hours every night. And I would take a nap an hour before working at the nail shop.

Honestly, my so called relationship drained me more than working. I rather work than deal with the bullshit drama. But why would I have to deal with it at all.

I refuse to compromise myself or well being to stroke someone else’s ego. IM SORRY.

And I am not insecure where I have to find sex or find someone else for attention or affection.

I am a well grounded woman, and I try my best to please everyone in my life.

I am the type to be friends with you for life.

I don’t care about any drama, or bullshit.

Life is what you make it, and time is too expensive. From now on, I will use it being happy.

Just me and my Nabi.

xoxo ky.

FUCK FUCK FUCK!

27 Dec

you annoy the fuck out of me. SHIT!

I’m not one to have low standards for myself. Yet, I’ve always date losers. WTF is wrong with me?

Is it true? Is it true we just end up with manipulative assholes, yet the good ones we can only look at them as a “friend?”

COME ONNNNNNNNN.

Why can we not get with one guy and just be with without him being insecure, and treat us like shit as if we are not worthy. But in actuality they are the ones with issues. And as a good “girlfriend” we put up with their shit because we think “it’s worth it.”

All I want to be is happy. AND I WILL BE HAPPY, WITH OR WITHOUT YOU BITCH.

I mean, no wonder your ex cheated on you…you are a fukkin asshole.

I didnt know men PMS, because you are way worse than any girl. 0______o

DUDE, you act like an uptight virgin, with an onion up your booty.

Little boy little boy, you just brought the devil out of me.

because NOW I REALLY DONT GIVE A FUCK.

DEAR DIARY

1 Apr

heyyy whats up??

I think I really have a sex problem…..I DON’T GET ENOUGH SEX!!!!! LMAO

It’s not like I’m a guy and I can “open my legs to everyone.” Well as for a guy, “they can stick it in everything.” JUST KIDDINNNNG But you know who you are?!

I haven’t been blogging, I haven’t been doing many camshows, I haven’t been doing much of anything. I don’t know whats wrong with me.

I thought this whole time I was on the correct path, I am not. I feel lost. Well kinda.

I will fill u in, when I get closer to where I want to be…thank you for always being there for me.

DEAR DIARY

10 Jan

hey mannnn what’s upppp. :p

School started today!! YAY! I know…BOOOOOOO…well not for me! I am thrilled to be in school to get my education on, and make this learning experience least boring as possible! Going to school is easier than real life…meaning, jobs that are hard work. Then again, hard work truly pays off, depending on who you are working for..YOURSELF, or YOUR BOSS, ORRRRRR maybe you can be YOUR OWN BOSS *puts cool glasses on.

Some people will either get what I am saying or….they don’t. (You can have a boss, just know you are working for YOU or him…for example are you planning to be under him/her/it forever…or are you trying to take his job? Are you going to be the best worker for YOU or FOR HIM?HER?IT? I mean, it’s cool to have job under somebody I guess. But! I think some Americans are lazy or maybe society just want you to work under someone else for the rest of your life.) Maybe America wants you to be fat, and lazy, and brainwash you by educating you on who’s JLO is fucking, or how fake the Kardashian’s wedding was…maybe America, NO ONE CARES…LOL who knows??? I am not going to live my life they way someone else want me to LIVE IT…IT’S MY LIFE!!!! I wake up every single day and do what I want! I think that’s how everything should be! Can’t waste time anymore!!!

I love my life, and I love all the good and the bad. pew. Things are going great! I love it! AND I LOVE YOUUUUU MUAHHHHZZZZ U mean so much to me and you don’t even know it.

xoxoxoox kyanna beans

DEAR DIARY

31 Dec

Hey guys!!! Hope you are having an awesome end of the year!! So many great things will come, once you let it. There’s so many fucked up things in the world going on today..and it’s easy to give up. JUST DON’T. Things will be better once you start thinking more positive and you will slowly see change in your day…and life.

WTF am I preaching for? I’m just a regular girl in the world that’s just trying to make it like everyone else. I love you. Thank you sooooo much for your patience. Thank you for being there for me. weeeeee.

I tried having a normal job, and I just suck at being normal. YES I AM A REGULAR GIRL, but I AM CRAZY. and CRAZY don’t get along with NORMAL. Wait, so I am just another crazy regular girl. :B

U know what? I hate it when big girls tell me, I don’t know how it is to be big..and I wouldn’t understand. IM LIKE…YES BITCH, I was BIG, too. I was a very skinny girl, and I blew up…no like literally. I worked my ass off in the gym…and staying consistent. EVENTHOUGH I still eat bad food, I also ate veggies (which made me poop better) and drank a lot of water. People like to be down on themselves. I wish they would let me help them. I wish I can say…WELL, you don’t know how it feels when your agent tells you your a fatass and no company wants to hire a fatass like you. LOL ummm well not in those exact words. BUT YES…I was a thick girl..I don’t care how many of you say “YOU ARE LOSING TOO MUCH WEIGHT.” BEKUHHHHHZZZZZZ I am working out for me, HA! NOT for you! So thanks for your input, but no thanks. I want my abs back? And there’s nothing wrong with that. And for you big girls, if you wanna lose weight…then work for it. Simple. Right? no? OK. If you don’t like your situation, then change it. No one will do it for you.

This year, I learned my lesson…man…I tell you…I never had a real BF ever in my life. I am surprised that we are still together now…I learned what I am worth, and I will NEVER let anyone take it away from me. I don’t care anymore. I want a better LIFE, and I won’t be in my own way anymore. I want a better body, I work out. I want my own income, I work. I want to shop, I will.

Someone on my stickam ( wooowwwww I just tapped my new Macbook Pro, like it was my iPhone when it autocorrects a word, LMAO) well anywhooo someone on my stickam, said I probably lived in a big house, and I am daddy’s little rich girl. I smiled and I said, I am from the gutter, and my dad has a new family. I haven’t talked to him since I was 14. So, NO. lol. Sometimes you can’t just assume stuff, because then you will look like an ASS. :T

I started FINALLY reading BATMAN No Man’s Land graphic novel. I love comics and I wish I have more time to read em…because my a d d ass will wonder into space.

What other lessons have I learned? Hhhmm..I can’t remember but I know it’s somewhere in there. hahhaa.

Have a great NEW YEARS!!!!! 2012 will be amazingggggg. Don’t suck it, Live it.

Like me on FB:

Facebook.com/kyannaxbana

❤ KYANNA EFFIN LEE

DEAR DIARY : TODAY

19 Oct

Mannnn so much moving today! Yayyyy!

And to the apartments we lived in, u get a BIG FUCK YOUUUU. And a smile. 🙂

Things have truly changed for me! I bought myself the new iPhone 4S (in white of course). I cannot want to get the gameboy cover! Haha weeeee.

I officially have a Dyson vacuum. It’s purple, my favorite color.

We are moving in a two bedroom house with a huge backyard for Butters, my loving pit bull. 😀

I got an LED Samsung tv! And I finally get to use my blu ray player! It’s so awesome. Connected to a Bose surround system.

I have a cute desk that I always wanted.

You see, when I left CA, we donated everything. So I had to buy everything fresh again.

My grades are getting better, well I had one F maybe it would be a C by now. Lol.

My birthday is in a few weeks or in a week. Yay happy birthday to me.

Thanks for checking up on me! ❤ YOU Kyanna

DEAR DIARY : ?___?

17 Sep

Dude….I cannot stop thinkin…..about…..SHOESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. FUGGGGGGGGGGGGG LALLALALLA.

hahha anyways. SO I WATCHED STAR WARS!!!! I only watched Episodes VI-VI…I THINK…And I also watched Esposide I. hehehheeheh. I never understood why everyone was so into Star Wars or even watch Family Guy Star Wars and I would never understand the jokes B_E_C_A_U_S_E I never watched it UNTIL NOW…DOYYY………..hehe Anyways I loved it. Everyone always talk about the changes blah blah…but I never seen the orginal..or remastered bc I don’t know which one’s which. sorry. :T (I assume the one with less puppets and costumes are the orginal…)

I am a full time student, and school isn’t hard. It really is about doing the work, understanding the content and turning all HW to the instructors. :T Yeah I know right???? It just sounds easy when I say it like that. But if you think about it…..it’s all easy. You just can’t be lazy and not do it. hehe.

I think next week I will start two jobs. You think I will be doing too much??? I don’t know but I will still do camshows. I back on grindmode. I am determined to get a BMW by the end of this year. We already got approved for one. But I think I want to get one on my OWN. :p

Damm my ADD kicked in and now I really have to study TTYL PEACE.